Indecision, May 25 2014

    (I write this to myself to try to put things in perspective.  I did the same last year, intending to delete after the surgery was over, but I have found reading it over helps me understand the process.  I kind of wish I had kept a more detailed account because in rereading I've forgotten, or not thought of, a lot of things that happened.)
        It's been a year since I had the right TKR, and I'm not sure what to do about the other knee.  Over the years, both orthopedists I had seen said both knees were badly damaged, and would need total knee replacement to function in a normal manner.  The right knee was worse, and so was done first. Before the surgery, it seemed as if both knees hurt, and I got to the point where walking any distance and standing for more than several minutes were painful.  They did not hurt at rest, though there were times in the past when they did. To my surprise and satisfaction, after the TKR on the right knee, the left knee felt really good also.  I walked around Washington Park, in shopping malls, and, probably the best test of all, I was able to  walk all around the grounds at the Schaghticoke Fair, just 3 months after the surgery.  But this spring, my left knee has started clicking, and becomes painful after I've walked on it for more than 10 minutes or so.  I tell myself being able to walk around at the Schaghticoke Fair is not a strong enough reason to risk major surgery.  But at the last visit to Ortho, new x-rays showed no cartilage, bone spurs, and I was told that my left leg is also crooked.  Not too noticeable to me, and nowhere near as crooked and deformed as the right leg had been.  I know, since I'm the age I am, that I can live with the amount of disability (if that's the word), for the rest of my life.  As it is.  But what if it gets worse is the question I'm faced with.  The older I get, the more likely I am to develop surgical complications, so the best time to act may be now.  When the surgeon asked if the pain in the left knee is as bad now as the right knee was last year, this is what I said:   "Before surgery both knees hurt, the right being worse, but I felt pain in both.  After the surgery, for a period of time, I was pain-free.  Now the left knee hurts, but since the right knee is pain-free, I'm only in half as much pain as before." I'd hate to "waste" the benefit of my surgery by being unable to walk around freely, to lose what I went through all that trouble to gain. 
     Anyway, before any more surgery, I would have to again get clearance from my primary doctor and my cardiologist.  I suspect the results would depend on blood tests and not any other  clinical findings because the cardiologist is part of a mill, and the primary seems kind of clueless. 
     I wonder, what are we looking for anyway?  I no longer have anyone to go shopping with, hang out with, or most of the time have anyone to talk to.  There is no one who knows how far I can walk.