Life is so conflicted. My personal life, that is. I remember when there was a lot going on in my life which involved others in various activities, and so whatever journey we were on was a shared one, to different degrees. Now everything has wound down, leaving the bare and exposed elements of myself trying to survive as best I can. I have a single primary concern at present, complex and consuming, a major commitment which I can only hope will be of benefit. I test the waters: one, two, three, four. That should set the tone, and it does. I venture forth with the overture and the responses are tepid, at best. Four openings, and not one follow-up. Not an inch of territory beyond the opening. No comments, no questions, no opinions. One pledge of availability if required, from one who is becoming tormented by his own physical shortcomings. At one level I am not surprised at what has come to be, but in another dimension I am completely shocked.
How can that be! How can anyone not be thinking of me, me, me! That's all I think about. Old and worn as I am, I'm number one on my list. I completely occupy my own mind; what would anyone expect I think about?
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