Now What?

  I am finished with all the Rehabilitation sessions that were prescribed, 2 weeks of home visits and 4 weeks of out-patient therapy.  My 6 week re-check with the P.A. has been delayed a week because of the holiday: on July 10 I will return to him for the second time.  I'm not sure why because on my first visit to him, which was 13 days post-surgery, he said all was well and he cleared me to drive.  He did say it would be a good idea to practice in a parking lot to get the feel for it, but I live in Valley Falls, which pretty much is a parking lot. 
    The only concern I mentioned to him  was  what I perceived as a discrepancy which I attributed to my now straight right leg.  Which, BTW, brings me to "How could they!"   Just before I went in for surgery, I had pictures taken of my legs:  sitting down where they appeared perfectly straight, and then standing.  I knew my legs were pretty crooked when I was standing up, to the degree that I would no longer consider wearing a skirt or a pair of shorts.  I'd disposed of any pants I owned that had stripes or any vertical seaming because of the distortion, and I tried to avoid looking at or thinking of it.  Not until just the other day did I feel I could look at the pictures taken pre-surgery, which brings me to, "How could they!"  How could my family and those close to me have allowed me to walk around with such a marked deformity without insisting or at least  encouraging me to do something about it?  To my recollection, only one person repeatedly and persistently said I should seek some kind of help, and that was partly because it made him shudder to watch me walk.  I guess there is such a thing as self-denial and just plain denial. 
     So now I will have a return visit to the P.A. who on the previous visit said my issue with the discrepancy in leg length was a natural after-effect of surgery and should work itself out, so we'll see if he's reconsidered that issue. 
     Though no appointment with the surgeon has been set up, I think I'm supposed to see him at some time in the future.  My first, and only, visit with him was last February. Originally the surgery was set for March, but I delayed it until May because I had been asked to tutor a senior who needed to write a term paper in order to graduate.  I'm happy to say he did get the paper written and was able to graduate. Yay.
     I'm having flashbacks to that long-ago visit to the orthopedist last February.  I know he used the term, "bilateral total knee replacement," (as did the first orthopedist I'd consulted 6 years earlier.)  I'm remembering he said he would do the right knee FIRST, because he wanted to straighten the leg.  I recall his saying that although full recovery from a TKR takes up to  a year, it is not necessary to wait that long to have the other knee done.  When I saw him briefly in the hospital after surgery and he asked how I felt, I said I thought my right leg now felt longer than my left, his immediate reply was "Fix the other knee." (Maybe he wasn't joking?)
     So here I sit, sleepless and wondering.  I think I'm doing pretty well as is, and am not anxious to alter my situation.  I have a wedding to go to, and then a new baby to see.  Even though TKR #1 went more smoothly and quickly than I'd expected, I can't assume the same for a repeat procedure.  On the other hand, I don't want to risk jeopardizing my gains by keeping the status quo if doing nothing more could have harmful effects.  
    Dr. C. ended the office visit by saying I would be really mad at him at my next visit to his office, because of all the rigors of rehab he'd prescribed.  While that hasn't happened, I'm not so sure about what lies in store for the future.  Who ever knows anyway.